The term creonte is universally recognised as a word meaning “low down dirty traitorous scum”, and rightly so. Coined in…
10 Things you MUST KNOW as a brand new white belt!
All of us started at white belt. All of us. Except Chuck Norris, he spontaneously grew a black belt from…
In Depth: Every Single Positive Steroid Test Result was Just a Mysterious Mistake!
After extensive review of the facts, Awkward Shaka can now reveal that every single positive steroid test in BJJ (and…
Special Report: Blue Belt Rob’s Blog Has Been Updated, Guys
Sources can confirm that, after a short hiatus “mostly dealing with family issues and some weird soreness in my armpits”,…
Referee Unsure Who to Screw Over When Both Competitors are Gringos
In the recent JIBJJFJFFJ World Championships, controversy abounded as referee Olivaldo Gueddes found himself in an awkward situation during the finals…
Jesus Christ Releases Statement about Fighter Sponsorship
Jesus Christ, lord and saviour, recently released a statement, as the number of professional and amateur fighters mentioning him before…
Seminar Student Effectively Paid $350 for One Technique
“I’m super stoked about it though,” said Brody Festertester, a blue belt at the Davidoff Lights Dojo in Boise, Idaho, who…
Past his Prime Guy Keeps Changing Profile Pic Back to That One Time He Competed
We have received reports that Fentiman McClintock, a blue belt who did a competition once, keeps changing his Facebook profile…
Brown Belt Politely Listens to New Student Who Just Watched Gracies in Action for the First Time
Local brown belt Mitchell Schumacher nodded and smiled politely for over 15 minutes yesterday as new student Desdemona Pilkington told him…
Local Student’s Diet to Commence “After All Chocolate and Beer In House Consumed”
Ramakin Bandersnatch, a blue belt training at the Lucky Strike academy in Colorado, is “literally just about to start a…
