Ramakin Bandersnatch, a blue belt training at the Lucky Strike academy in Colorado, is “literally just about to start a diet. Probably tomorrow.” The only things currently standing in his way are four and a half bars of chocolate, a six pack of beer, and two packets of ready salted crisps squirreled away in his cupboard.
Bandersnatch plans to compete in an upcoming tournament but has about four kilograms of excess fat he has to move first. “It’s only logical,” he says “that I should remove all temptation to eat junk food, by eating all the junk food in the house.”
“My body is a temple, and I can’t allow it to be polluted bad food.”
The blue belt blames the amount of junk food stored in the house on his girlfriend, and the low prices offered at his local supermarket.
“I’m worried that by the time I get down to the last bar, they’ll have a sale on again,” said a concerned Bandersnatch.