Brown Belt Politely Listens to New Student Who Just Watched Gracies in Action for the First Time

Local brown belt Mitchell Schumacher nodded and smiled politely for over 15 minutes yesterday as new student Desdemona Pilkington told him about Gracies in Action, which she had watched that morning on YouTube.

“I dug deep and just kept on smiling and nodding, but it was pretty painful” said Schumacher, who watched Gracies in Action on actual video tapes about a decade ago. “I’ve seen it like 50 times, I know the entire script, I can even do a pretty good Rorion impression,” he continued, doing an excellent Rorion impression.

Pilkington has been training for three months and is in what’s known as the ‘honeymoon period’. She frequently tries to rear naked choke her baffled workmates and wears nothing but jiu jitsu t-shirts when she’s not at work.

“I saw this amazing video of the Gracies, do you know about them? They are totally beating the crap out of like every single martial arts master ever. God, kung fu is so shit.”

Pilkington took great pleasure in explaining the scene where the karate school challenges the Gracies to a fight on a hardwood floor, expecting to limit their ability to fight on the ground.

“But then the Gracies just throw them all on the floor so hard! Hahah stupid karate guys.”

Schumacher is preparing himself for coping with the next phase in the new student’s jiu jitsu life, namely asking him what the best moves are to get out from under side control, and what the difference is between GJJ and BJJ. Meanwhile, Pilkington continues to pronounce the Gracies with R’s instead of H’s.

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