Frustrated Blue Belt “Would Have Totally Won That Competition” If he Had Entered

Claims he had every intention of entering the recent competition
Claims he had every intention of entering the recent competition

A blue belt in New York said yesterday he “totally would have kicked ass in that competition,” if only he had actually entered.

John Johnston, of Flushing Meadows, NY said that he was literally just about to sign up for it when he got a nasty chest infection.

“I had the registration page open really early but then I realised I didn’t have any money in my PayPal account,” says the recently minted blue belt. “I figured I would come back and do it later.”

Before he knew it, the registration deadline crept up.

“I’ve been training really hard lately, like twice a week. I started Crossfit as well. I would have totally killed it.”

On the final day for registration, Johnston woke up feeling “pretty groggy”.

“I didn’t sleep very well and I was coughing a lot,” he said, coughing for effect. “I decided to wait until the end of the day and see how I felt. I ended up going to the cinema and completely forgetting to sign up.”

Johnston assured his team mates that he would have had no issue cleaning up if he had been in the competition. “I saw the guys who signed up, they all suck, big time.”

Some, however, remained unconvinced.

“That guy is flakier than an old man’s ballsack,” said one training partner who wished to remain anonymous.


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