Jesus Christ, lord and saviour, recently released a statement, as the number of professional and amateur fighters mentioning him before or after matches reached critical mass.
“Guys, I really don’t care about whether you win your karate match.”
The leading supernatural Christian figure released the statement yesterday, adding that:
“Fundamentally I am against violence in all its forms. It’s pretty obvious that I wouldn’t support people who fight, whether for money, medals, or babes.”
The Son of God also added that appearing to endorse a particular fighter can cause problems down the line, particularly in cases where said fighter turns out to be a rapist or a tax dodger.
“Basically I’d prefer if you didn’t talk about me when you’ve just left your opponent in a bloody unconscious heap on the floor, it’s really not my thing.”