Trending: 75% of Relatives Now Have Some Clue About Jiu Jitsu

Greg (right) has choked his uncle out hundreds of times
Greg (right) has choked his uncle out hundreds of times

Thanks to the tireless efforts of the jiu jitsu community, 75% of people’s relatives now how some idea about the sport of jiu jitsu.

“Basically at every family gathering I have to explain my hobby four or five times,” says Greg Pilsnax, a purple belt in Brisbane, Australia.

“I usually start with a gentle introduction like judo or wrestling, and explain from there,” explains Greg.

It is apparent tho that no matter how eloquently you explain your hobby, anyone over the age of 65 will still call it karate.

“It’s like their brains are all hard and stuff, they can’t take on any new information. Bless ’em.”

Male family members, typically uncles, are the most likely to ask for a physical demonstration, especially if there is alcohol involved.

“At every family BBQ, my uncle Phil will ask me how my karate classes are going. Then he’ll try to headlock me, and finally he’ll ask me to demonstrate something on him. Depending on how much we’ve had to drink, I’ll either do a standing kimura, or armdrag him and RNC him until he passes out. We all have a great laugh about it afterwards. I do think he hates me though.”

The next group that the jiu jitsu community has their sites on is hairdressers. “I’m fed up with explaining cauliflower ears,” complains Greg. “They think I’ve got some kind of weird, highly localised skin condition.”

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