It has been confirmed today that the old judo guy who sometimes turns up to training is really annoying.
“He has old man strength, like, times a thousand. And his gi is really ratty and old,” said Jim Manglefeet, a blue belt training at the Benson & Hedges academy in Northamptonshire.
Over and above the surprising strength and slightly less than fresh gi, it is reported that the “judo head lock from side control” is the most annoying thing about the old guy.
“He passes your guard, then he just fucking sits there and squeezes the shit out of your head.”
Students insist they have tried to pass on the subtleties of jiu jitsu to the old judo guy, who goes by the name Pete, on many an occasion, but he’s “having none of it.”
Chief Instructor Fullerton Wedges says there’s nothing he can do. “He’s like the perfect member, pays his fees on time every month and hardly ever turns up.”
Despite their reservations, students still give him the benefit of the doubt. “I always spar with him,” says Jenny Trapclap. “But I instantly regret it the moment he passes my guard and shoves my head into his armpit. I’m not even sure what he’s trying to do. You can’t win by pin in jiu jitsu, and basically he’s just cranking on my neck. I hate him.”
The Awkward Shaka 
Thats my go to move!
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?????
How about taking the opportunity to work to either get him back into guard or crawl up his back for a choke. Quit whining like a damn baby and try to fight your way out of it.
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That’s so awesome!
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HAHAHA
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why dont you idiots learn from the roll instead of whining about it like 12 year old girls. Going by the attitude I guarentee that fat girl jenny will never win any competition with half decent players.
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You are…. Amazing!
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i don’t think this site means, what you think it means.
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oh come on people don’t be so serious… one of my sensei’s at my old gym was an old jugo guy with a nasty gi and old man strenght. he wasn’t the best at jujitsu but he would just sit on u with a headlock and man… i mean it was a really solid good headlock. There was a reason despite not having much jujitsu he was a sensei…. it was near impossible to escape sometimes.
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After reading the article I had to laugh, cuz I am “the old guy” in my school now. Crazy how time flies. Jenny, don’t be a hater, cuz to be able to hang with opponents half my age is a blessing; even if it means using a nice and tight “head n arm” technique. Peace
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Well I would suggest that you learn old judo guy escapes, like karl geis stuff.
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The number of people missing clear satire….
Wow.
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