It has been confirmed today that the old judo guy who sometimes turns up to training is really annoying.
“He has old man strength, like, times a thousand. And his gi is really ratty and old,” said Jim Manglefeet, a blue belt training at the Benson & Hedges academy in Northamptonshire.
Over and above the surprising strength and slightly less than fresh gi, it is reported that the “judo head lock from side control” is the most annoying thing about the old guy.
“He passes your guard, then he just fucking sits there and squeezes the shit out of your head.”
Students insist they have tried to pass on the subtleties of jiu jitsu to the old judo guy, who goes by the name Pete, on many an occasion, but he’s “having none of it.”
Chief Instructor Fullerton Wedges says there’s nothing he can do. “He’s like the perfect member, pays his fees on time every month and hardly ever turns up.”
Despite their reservations, students still give him the benefit of the doubt. “I always spar with him,” says Jenny Trapclap. “But I instantly regret it the moment he passes my guard and shoves my head into his armpit. I’m not even sure what he’s trying to do. You can’t win by pin in jiu jitsu, and basically he’s just cranking on my neck. I hate him.”